寻找缺乏幸福病的解药

Can’t stop listening to Sodagreen’s songs now…

Oh gosh. I always have this weird syndrome when I want to listen to songs, I just keep playing it non-stop on my laptop and then I will start to glare at it and don’t know where to surf as I am always online watching videos instead of looking at things without sound/music. I can’t stand it when there’s nothing playing into my ears, it’s so frustrating and one more thing is… I will be caught by my mom to talk about her problems, like WTH? So I will always put on my precious headphone and blast the music. XD

I really can’t stand people who repeats the same old thing every single time, it’s simply frustrating. This hatred is especially serious these days… especially after *uh-hrmp* incident, I am just totally turned off by these things EVEN MORE.

But maybe it’s because I am always watching videos, I kinda can’t stand myself for not doing anything online when I am only using my ears to listen. I NEED STUFF TO LOOK AT. BUT GUESS WHAT!? I HAVE NTH BUT DRAMAS TO BE WATCHED! =(((( damn sad!

I even started to play neopets, which I have not been playing ever since my secondary times! My eyes are so bored… =\ And now… I am blogging like crap. bluhs. damn sianz… Cuz I really have nth to say but I just want to do something. lalalala~~~

Tempted to read those online novels that I bookmarked though, but I just feel so lazy to continue reading on computer. It just feel weird… cuz I always like books to be in my hands so that I can bring it everywhere, read it at any position. BUT I CAN’T DO THAT TO ONLINE NOVELS!!!!!!! bluhs.

OMG. THIS IS SUCH A BORING ENTRY. SORRY PEOPLE WHO WANTS ENTERTAINMENT FROM MY BLOG CUZ I AM REALLY BORED NOW.

Haha. I feel so lazy to blog about this, but yeah… here I am with the late update. ^^|||

WOOTS!!! Finally got most of the pictures from dears. Hahaha… =P

Actually we went for overnight kbox during the first sunday of my 2 weeks break (which is NOT a break at all)!!! XD It’s uber crazy that I have to go back to school in the next morning (I booked at 9am) to edit my video. Haha.. But then again, I only went to school in the afternoon. =X So yar… anyways… PHOTOS!

^ Our camera woman setting up camera (on my precious water bottle) to shoot our faces!!! XD

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想了很久，情绪也平静了许久，还是决定写这篇文。

可能有些人会觉得我不该写这些东西，但是有些事情我觉得还是要说清楚一点好。虽然我不知道哪个谁会看到我这篇文，又下了什么结论；也或许有一天我会后悔写这些东西，但是我还是要说。

其实我脾气也没多好，我妈甚至认为我的坏脾气总有一天会害死我自己，所以请不要认为我是个有多好的人。因为我也非——常——讨——厌，甚至厌——恶——被说成是个大好人似的。

我——根——本——没——那——个——意——愿——当。

以前，总会不赞成 XY 所常说的 “人性本恶”，但如今⋯⋯我亦是如此。

当我的忍耐到了极限⋯⋯或者是说，某些人做了某些事情触及到了我的地雷，那我只能说声”对不起“，因为我无法再用以往笑容甚至是包容去面对这些人。在我的字典里，“灰色地带” 从来都不曾占有过我的整个世界。我无法假惺惺地还和不喜欢的人装成像好朋友一样，对不起，

我从来都不适合演戏，更何况这是我的世界、我的真实。

这样的关系也只剩下了尴尬和难堪。

交朋友本来就是以心交心的关系，我并不认为它有多复杂、多难懂。如果是朋友，尽管有什么不满也只会私下和他说一下，而不会背地里捅刀。而当自己对那人有过多不满时，我早已认为那样根本不算什么友情了。所以一直不明白为何会有一种人，能背地里在说他人（也就是他口中的 “朋友”）的坏话／难听的话后，还能笑嘻嘻地在那可怜的 “朋友” 面前装亲密。而那友人还傻傻的，被蒙在鼓里。不仅在这人被众人唾弃时，挺身帮腔、说尽好话，而且还把这人当成里头最最要好的 “朋友”！

你说，气不气人？！

那种想说出他的真面目的冲动和不能说的理智不停地在我脑中拔河，剩下的我只能暗自生气、不服。

而我最最不能明白的就是，这个人为何会认为我是 ”好人“，而一直粘着我和另个朋友？好笑的是，他为何不会认为他这些虚伪会让我极度厌恶，而继续在我面前大肆地贬低别人、说他人的不是？

骂句脏话：靠北啦！

如果我是好人，这世界上大概也找不到坏人了吧？！有够白目！

讨厌明明不亲近的人和我装亲密。
讨厌在别人背后捅刀，却还可以和那人装朋友。

讨厌在现实生活中还需要演戏，装疯卖傻。

真的无法容忍了⋯⋯恕我也无法假装没事下去了。

或许有些人这辈子也只仅只是君子之交（淡如水）罢了。

各位小朋友也不要天真了，这世界根本没有所谓的好人！

天生如此，何必改变。

Rules of game:

A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B) Tag people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Ok, Lets start:

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

wah… first question is already so cheesy. *evil grins* anyway, yah… i can’t accept betrayal and i am not someone who will let the matter rest. i might revenge on him before i dump him drastically. MWHAHAHAHAH!!!! if i have the chance… =)

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

not sure. otaku till the end of my life? don’t feel like gg to school these days. haha. =P

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?

er… wedding? i don’t want one. it’s too much of a hassle. =\

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

Probably… especially there’s so much happenings in ___________ these days that I feel like I am in the wrong place doing the wrong things.

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?

Ideal… 180cm above. XD haha. someone who’s able to understand my alien language and thinking and loves me until he dies. ^^

#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

not sure… shall try that out someday.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

why should i wait? can’t i just follow him everywhere (as in if we are gg to separate in different countries, i will go with him)?

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

SAD!!! then give up. then bioooo another guy. ROFL!

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

YEAH!!!! SADLY YES!!!!

#10.Who makes your day?

KODOMO!!! Cuz she’s entertaining (yo!)

#11. What do you feel right now while doing this?

WTF @ KODOMO

#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?

OTAKU. lol. XD

#13. Who are currently the most important people to you?

NO ONE. I AM SELFISH. *roll eyes*

#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

TOTALLY A KODOMO + COMEDIAN + WEIRDO + HYPER + NOISY. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?

single and rich lah. who wants to suffer with a guy that u have to put up with for the rest of ur life and still being poor? super sad can!

#16. What is the first thing you do every morning?

open my eyes? …

#17. Would you give all in a relationship?

not sure. maybe not. i can’t commit if i can’t feel the other party’s commitment. i think it’s tiring to give all in a relationship and gets nth in return and even loses ur own life. =\

#18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

er………………………. =.= this is so difficult. haha. date none of them. i hate commitments. =P

#19. What type of friends do you like?

sincere and understanding

#20. What type of friends do you dislike?

fakers

Tagging:

1) (STUPID LOR, I FEEL LIKE TAGGING KODOMO AGAIN)
2) Sarah
3) Huka (i doubt she even have time to do this…)
4) Yingx

I saw this news on Popseoul and it’s just so surprising!!!!!! XD HYUNJOONG!!!! AS RUI!!!! LIKE OMG!!!! Hahaha… From what I heard from before, DBSK boys are also included in various polls of “Who’s going to be the Korean F4?” and etc. I didn’t really know about SS501 that time, so I am not sure whether HyunJoong’s name is included or not but but but!!! I think HyunJoong’s pretty face matches Rui’s one anyway. Haha. Hopefully I don’t burst out laughing at the drama whenever I think of his quirky yet honest comments on variety shows. =X

Oh, Hwang Bo is also going to star in it! WOOTS!!! “Husband & Wife” (Please watch “We got married”!!!! Damn FUNNY!!!), lol. But I wonder which role she will be taking up… Maybe Doumyouji Tsukasa’s sister, Domyoji Tsubaki? No offence, but I really think she really suits to be Domyoji Tsubaki… ^^;; Oh oh oh!!! Or maybe Toudou Shizuka, the one who’s Rui’s crush. LOL!!! <3 ^^

[Credits: Popseoul]

SS501 leader Kim Hyun-joong is set to star as the F4 member Hanazawa Rui in the Korean version of the popular Japanese manga and drama Hana Yori Dango (aka Boys Over Flowers). The Korean version of the drama is scheduled to be broadcast on KBS 2TV in early 2009. The Korean name for Rui has not been set yet.

This will be the third time the Japanese manga will be turned into a drama series.

Casting for the remaining 3 members of F4 have yet to be finalized. Singer Hwangbo will also star.

This song is so damn sweet! ^^ I like how 阿信 wrote the lyrics!!!!~~~ <3 It’s going to be one of the songs in 丁噹’s second album《我爱上的》,which will be probably out by 8th July. =))))

AWWWWWW!!!!!!! I LIKE THE LYRICS!!! XD

歌曲：走火入魔
歌手：丁噹+阿信
专辑：我爱上了
发行：2008年7月8日

对不起　刚才我　是不是听错
还是我　想太多　想到了昏头
天气不错　开了窗吹走脸红

进一步　退一步　都害怕打破
更不想　再和你　永远做朋友
给你线索　也给我勇敢藉口

下定决心　沉默
想让沉默为我们追究
你和我　这一刻
无声的　而交流
却突然震耳欲聋

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔　　（和我）

一直猜　一直想　一直的揣摹
一直到　你变成　甜美的心痛
如果可以　把如果变成结果

下定决心　执着
想让执着为我们突破
我和你　很想说
这时候　出现烟火
让心间充满感动

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔　　（和我）

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
如果你有相同感受
感受到有种突然的冲动
放肆一次走火入魔　　（和我）

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
忘了我从什么时候
忘了你为什么能够让我
一步一步走火入魔　　（和我）

一字一句一瞬间　走了火
一天一点一转眼　入了魔
如果你有相同感受
感受到有种突然的冲动
放肆一次走火入魔　　（和我）

Hahaha… this quiz is just in time to kill my rotting time at home, despite I still have loads of things to do. *coughs guiltily* But oh wells… HAHA!

Instructions:Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list. list them down at the end of your post. Notify them in their chatbox that he/she is tagged.

1. Why are you doing this quiz?

Cuz Sarah tagged me and I am BORED.

2.What is your most favorite thing to do?

宅到天荒地老～ LOL!

3.Three things you plan to do before you diee!

Ermmmmm… (Count this as one) Watch Mayday, TVXQ & Soda Green concerts!!!! Then… HAVE A UBER CUTE SOULMATE WHO IS WILLING TO DIE WITH ME! XD *pervert* and and and… donate blood!!! ^^

4.If you have a close close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you consider him/her your friend?

ER…. WHO IS THAT STUPID? HAHA!

5.If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

Hmmmmmm… lol. Find my soulmate. ^^

6.Do you believe you can survive without money?

Without money? Hmmmmm… probably, but someone has to get me my survival food!!! XD

7.What are you afraid to lose the most?

MYSELF. (I hate people now so yar…)

8.If you win $1 million, what would you do?

SPEND THEM ALL OR DONATE IT OR ELSE BURN THEM, I DON’T WANT TO GET ROBBED. No lah! Just joking… probably donate some, then spend some (for tours) and save some. Heh.

9.If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

UNLESS HE CONFESSED FIRST! XD

10.List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

SARAH? She’s… er… humorous and has her own unique way of thinking. OH! She’s obsessed with baking, aikido and japanese but probably hates chinese now because of school work. rofl. =P

11.What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

UNDERSTANDING and someone who I can never get sick of. ^^

12.Which type of person do you hate the most?

Wow. You want me to list the whole chunk of attributes that I hate in a person?! HAHA.

13.What is your ambition?

*roll eyes* ambition is a word too big for someone like me. =)

14. Go karting or the abseiling?

wtf. I am not a sporty person so NO THANKS. =X

15.What do you think is the most important thing in your life?

Nothing.

16.If you have to choose between career and family, which will you choose?

I am sort of rebelling my family now so I am sooo not going to choose it but I really hate the idea of choosing career over family cuz it just sounds so pathetic. =\

17.If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

Why should I? O_O

18.Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

Erms… no one? Cuz I really sucks at talking about my problems to people so I would rather write my blog entries than repeating the same things to people. =D

19.Where is the place that you haven’t gone before but hope to go?

Hmmmmm… ANY PLACE THAT I CAN GAIN MORE EXPERIENCE AND THINK MORE.

20.Two people you admire/look up to.

Erms. =\ erms. =| erms. =( NONE?

People to be tagged: I don’t think anyone I know is going to do this survey due to the buzzing projects and stuff going around so yar… Basically, just anyone who wants to do this. ^^

背着你读书
背着你写字
你再不会责备
我不够用功

背着你伤痛
伤痛关于我的快乐

背着你沉默
背着你穿洞
你再不会让我
看潮起潮落

我的爱竟不翼而飞
但回忆 供我在夜里消费
无所谓 当泪都成灰
背着你得到一些时间
当泪都化成一片灰

背着你我按停了时间

Sometimes, I just feel like shutting myself away from my mother. And this feeling sort of escalates into a worse situation these days. =\

I used to think that I can’t live without my family, but then come to think again… I actually don’t really need anyone. Especially someone who live with me for my whole life and yet still don’t understand me, I would rather be myself and live my way. Accommodating and tolerating aren’t usually my words anyway; the closer we were, the less meaning of these 2 words mean to me.

我的爱竟不翼而飞⋯⋯

[edited]

Okay, pictures speak a thousand words!!! XD LOOKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

Went to Sodagreen’s autograph session @ Bugis Square yesterday and their live performance was so damn awesome, except the fact that people/fans are not really “high” enough (in my view) which makes the whole performance not as perfect. Haha. I think they sang like… 6 to 8 songs? Heh. Especially like the part when 青锋 asked us which songs we want to listen and some enthu fans will keep shouting a dozen of songs. LOL!!! I actually wanted to shout out “白日出没的月球” one… BUT I FORGOT THE NAME!!!! TT____TT

Bluhs. Anticipating for their concert on 2nd August @ MAX PAVILION! Hopefully they will sing 白日出没的月球~~~ LOL!!!!

But anyway, for those who have seen the news(papers) or went to the session should have know that 青锋 doesn’t let fans to take photos of them.

青锋：“我们不是什么偶像明星，只是爱音乐的人。拍照其实没什么意义，重要的是音乐。”

Well, I can’t agree more… but then again, to be frank, the first time he said it, I was quite shocked. Haha. Maybe it’s because of his tone? It’s a bit… overbearing (for fans). But yar… photos (& autograph) really don’t mean anything when it comes to Sodagreen, cuz it’s their music which I loved. XD heh. ^^ I should have guessed through how 青锋 writes their lyrics cuz some of them are quite sassy and I don’t know… it’s like a kind of attitude? ^^;; 大概是一种音乐人的坚持吧⋯⋯呵～

我喜欢苏打绿，因为他们清新的音乐。我其实并不是什么死终歌迷，我只是爱听我爱的音乐，所以才会喜欢苏打绿。虽然不知道他们真正的个性（因为真的没什么注意，通常就只是单纯的看他们在电视上的音乐JAM。虽然⋯⋯对阿福的笑脸有点偏心，哈哈哈！！！）；虽然真的被青锋坚持不拍照的态度吓倒了（因为我觉得那些拍照的人也没有什么恶意，就算他们因为如此而不能专心听苏打绿唱歌，那也是他们的损失。我想说的是，其实青锋大人没必要这么吓那些拍照的人啦！哈哈⋯⋯），但这也无所谓啦。我想啊⋯⋯也许就是他们这样的个性才能写出这么好听的歌曲吧？甚至听他们的歌的时候，我会想：这首歌，我懂那心情！！！说不定，我的性格在别人眼中也如此啊，所以才会对他们的音乐着迷吧？说真的，我也不知道。

我本身是个非—常—懒的人，也觉得追星是件很累人也没什么意义的事情。所以我去过签唱会的纪录一只手就能数出来，而去过的那些⋯⋯亦有友人要去，于是陪同；亦真的很喜欢也想听LIVE，且不懒得出门（或有事在那儿附近）。哈哈哈⋯⋯ 不过这次的苏打绿的签唱会没让我失望，这倒是真的！听LIVE真的好爽啊！！！！！！！！！！！XD

Oh, I think I just embarrassed myself again. You know what? My tempo sense is really really bad!!! (Ya ya ya, I know this sentence makes no sense but read on) Hahaha… I was trying to clap my hands (along with others) following the song tempo but I totally can’t get the tempo!!! Then I was like… o_o -> O_O -> T_T and put down my hands and stare at ppl’s hands. rofl. =\ My tempo sucks and I hate this fact. BLUHS!!! =((((

Anyway, despite the agreement that autographs ain’t important, I still got theirs on my ticket & album… which is totally LOL! *shrugs* =P But then since I am already quite in front of the queue, I might as well go up and get the autographs right? Moreover, I still have to wait for Sal to finish her dance lesson at somewhere nearby to get our dinner. Keke… OKAY! EXCUSES! BUT SO WHAT! I WANT TO SEE 阿福 WHAT!!! *hrmp*

ˆ（左起）阿龚，阿福，小威，青锋，馨仪，家凯

Get to talk to some of them a bit, first it’s 阿福~~~ haha, I was busy smiling that I don’t know what I should say to the other guys but 阿福 is like so uber nice and cute that he starts talking to me. And he’s always smiling!!!~~~ ^^ But what totally surprised me is that he asked me, “你在哪里买票的？⋯⋯新加坡买票会不会比较便宜？” and etc. I guess he thought that I wasn’t a Singaporean. rofl. Damn cute. =P Oh oh oh, did I mention that his acoustic guitar is so damn pretty!!! I bet it’s damn expensive too!!! XD

阿龚 is totally damn quirky. He stared at me and wants me to say something but I just went blank and smile like an idiot. Haha. =P But I really want to tell him that his violin and piano skills is really damn damn damn awesome!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I SHOULD GET A CHANCE TO TELL HIM!!!! =\ blehx. But nvm, I think he knows he’s damn good in those too. rofl.

小威’s drums performance, needless to say, damn cool! Despite the fact that the other members told him the different songs that they are supposed to perform yesterday, he didn’t even make one mistake in his part!!! lol. （反倒是整人的青锋彩排时出错⋯⋯＊咳咳＊）XD He’s damn friendly too during the autograph session. Heh. 胖胖的也很可爱～～～

And then 馨仪. Well, like I said, I don’t know how to talk to the guys but I just totally relaxed when it’s 馨仪 and I suddenly blurted out that she’s really pretty, which is the truth. lol. Hopefully, I am not perceived as a lesbian cuz I like 阿福!!! rofl. =P

Then it’s 青锋 =))) His hair is damn cool, but that’s not the point. I think he’s one of the few people I know who will shake others’ hands VERY VERY strong and firm, but I don’t know why I was laughing like mad when we shook our hands. XD Hahaha… He probably thinks that I am a weirdo cuz his face looked a bit “seh” when I laughed. =P

Last but not least, the bbt boy in Sodagreen! XP Oops. Haha. It’s 家凯 anyway, the gorgeous dude. I really want to tell him that he looks damn gorgeous but I just went speechless again. =P Blehx. Oh!!! And before I went up to the stage for their autographs, he was like staring into space which is the same situation of me then we sort of like staring into each other’s blank eyes. rofl. What I can say is… it’s simply a weird experience staring into people’s eyes, especially an artiste’s. keke. XD *shrugs*

PHEW. *runs off to listen to Sodagreen’s albums*

OMG!!!! I AM TOTALLY SO NOT GOING TO MISS ANY OF THEIR CONCERTS AGAIN!!! TT____TT This extract of their last year concert @ Taipei 小巨蛋 totally gives me goosebumps. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I sooo feel like crying with them, omg, it’s just too touching and awesome! TT______TT And they are singing one of my favourite songs of their albums: 这天!!!! <3

Anyone wants to see how my hair looks like now? After it got a uber short cut. haha. I think it’s the shortest hair I have cut in my life!!! >_< Somehow still girlish anyways. haha.

I was quite shocked that the hairdresser chopped off my fringe uglier than I thought and she insisted that it’s long enough to cover my eyebrows. But I think it’s not about covering my eyebrow or not, it’s the style that she cut it, too… shaggy? haha. But other than my fringe, I am glad that my hair is short again. And I think after the hair cut, my head looks really small compared to my fatty body. XD lols.

I tried to style my hair with mousse but failed… And then I tried wax, but then it seems to look all the same to me. LOL!!! Though I think wax do a much better job than mousse, which is completely useless to my thick and hard hair. rofl.

Dears!!! Please send me the photos!!!~~~~ XD Except those that I koped from yingx’s blog. MWHAHAHAHA!!!